No Sick Days for Mommy

0

You have probably seen the DayQuil commercial where an obviously sick woman opens the door to a room and tells the person in charge that she is going to have to take a sick day. The camera shifts perspectives and the audience can see that the room is a pink clad toddler’s bedroom and the “boss” is her child. The commercial ends with the slogan “moms don’t take sick days.” Although the commercial is, in my opinion, extremely well executed and comical, it is also painfully true! I recently felt the burden and physical toll that this clause in our invisible mom contract causes.

First, I want to start by depicting what a sick day looked like before I was a mom. I would wake up feeling groggy, achy and tired. I would almost immediately announce to my husband, “I think I’m sick.” I would revel in his sympathy while coughing loudly and moving about my routine, albeit, slowly. Next, I would get to work and do my best to not let my sickness get in the way of my job. I was an elementary school teacher and I am not exaggerating when I say children can sense weakness. I would push through my duties, project my voice and do my best to be the best for my students. I would almost always skip any breaks I had throughout the day because it was better to get everything done and walk out right after my students were dismissed than try to stay until 4:30. Next, I would go home, text my husband to bring food and sleep for the following consecutive 12 hours. I followed this pattern for four child-free years while with my husband. I actually rarely got sick and recovered pretty quickly, probably thanks to those long naps and uninterrupted nights of healing sleep. I will admit that I even pushed through walking pneumonia after my antibiotics kicked in because it was the day before Winter Break and I was not about to let a substitute distribute my carefully crafted and differentiated work packet to my students, if you are a teacher you completely understand.

Fast forward to November 2019, a week where my daughter got a stomach virus, my husband got the flu and I got streptococcus (step throat). I know what you’re thinking, how is that even possible? I have no idea, but this week, which was really two weeks and took a month to recover from, tested my patience, resilience, and strength in a way very few situations had previously.

Needless to say, my sickness routine went very differently this time around. I woke up on the first morning I was sick and when I swallowed it felt like 100 toothpicks had slowly slid down my tender and for some reason much smaller-than-usual throat. I paused for a second and thought to myself, I can’t get sick. My husband came into the room, he wakes up 30 minutes before I do, and when he saw me sitting up asked if I was feeling alright. I smiled and said yes, because there is no way I’m going to let myself get sick (I don’t know why I thought I could control my body’s reaction to an invasive bacteria, but it made sense at the time).  We went through our morning routine without skipping a beat. I drank a cup of luke-warm coffee because hot coffee bothered my throat, but it was fine because I wasn’t sick, I like cold coffee. Then I cheerfully woke up my daughter, although I skipped the morning kisses because I knew I was sick, although there was no way I was going to let myself get sick. We went through our morning school readiness and drop off routine without a hitch. I made her a breakfast I knew she would like because I was already starting to feel too weak to willingly fight her to eat eggs and whole-grain toast. I myself skipped breakfast because the idea of eating was unappealing, but that’s fine because Thanksgiving was right around the corner and I was not sick.

When I got home, I sat on the couch, not my desk, and started to get some work done. I suddenly heard a loud pinging sound and it took me a few seconds to realize it was my phone telling me I had a text message. When I looked down at the screen, I noticed that I had been asleep on the couch for about an hour. Now I knew, I was sick. Instead of trying to finish my work, or do the dishes from breakfast, or start laundry I decided to get in bed and nap. Why? Because in about two hours I was going to have a perfectly healthy kid running through the house unable to truly understand that I needed rest. After my nap I jumped in the shower and psychologically brainwashed myself into believing that I felt much better already. I microwaved some canned chicken soup and drank the broth from my coffee thermos on my way to school pick-up, because calories turn into energy and despite the disgust that putting anything in my mouth gave me, I needed energy, because I was sick.

When my daughter and I got home I turned on the T.V. and made pasta for her lunch. Normally I try my best to limit television, I’m one of those crazy people who keeps a mental timer of how many minutes her child has been in front of any technological device, but now I needed help, ANY help, and T.V. was just what I needed to get through the lunch battle. I should also mention that my daughter is an extremely picky eater, I usually take advantage of lunch to present her with the food options that pose the most challenges, like red meat and vegetables, but instead, I made pasta, because I was sick. After my technology guilt outweighed my need to sit on the couch, I turned off the T.V. and muddled through the rest of the afternoon. We played with modeling clay sitting on the couch, we colored sitting on the couch, we played dragons sitting on the couch and made bead necklaces sitting on the couch. When my daughter got sufficiently tired of sitting on the couch, she decided to go to her room and play on her own.

Not long after I was left alone in the den my husband walks through the front door, at least three hours earlier than he normally would, to find me staring blankly at the television screen that is not even turned on. He sympathetically stares at me and says, you’re sick. Instead of reveling in his compassion, as I would have done in a past lifetime, I quickly read off a list of things I needed help doing along with a grocery list we had to get done. Like the amazing partner he is, he began to complete all the tasks I had rambled on about and I went to my daughter’s room to sit on her bean bag chair. In a previous time, I would have gone to my bed and slept until the next day, but instead, I let my daughter use me as a prop while she played Doc Mcstuffins.

“I knew I was crossing the line from sick to terribly ill when I once again fell asleep without intending to unless my daughter had real anesthesia in her purple glitter syringe.”

The next few hours dragged on slowly, but eventually, we all went to bed, albeit with a very different night time routine than usual. My husband got me to the doctor I got antibiotics inside me, thank you, Alexander Fleming, for inventing what I can only describe as a magic pill, and I was back to myself within the day. Not shortly after my husband and daughter both fell ill with varying types of sicknesses and I was able to come to their rescue as I often do.

Now I am going to say something that will most likely be controversial. When talking about common illnesses that have expedient cures such as a cold, stomach virus, and even strep throat; and when speaking of a household where everyone is over the age of 7, I would venture to say that it is significantly better for anyone to get sick besides the mother, the primary caregiver. My house is still slowly recovering from my being sick for about 72 hours. Our routine is still finding itself slightly behind schedule, our groceries are still not as stocked as they normally are, and my laundry basket is back to being perpetually full. I should also point out that my husband and daughter have been sick multiple times before this, and the repercussions of their illness were nowhere near as devastating as this first time where I am the sick parent. Much like in old war practices where kings often used decoys or were kept just behind the front lines in battle in order to protect his rule and ensure that there would be a leader after the commotion settled, the parent in charge of the household should be protected from disease to ensure that the soldiers are cared for and that the country, in this case, the household, continues to run smoothly long after the battle, in this case, illness, has ended. Although this is practically impossible to do, I will definitely practice better self-care to ensure that I am sick as few times as possible, not for myself but for my home.

Hail and Farewell to all of the sick moms who will battle it out this cold and flu season!

 

Previous articleTips to Travel with your Little One
Next articleApps To Help Make Parenting Easier
alejandragonzalez
Alejandra Gonzalez is an immigrant of the Hispanic country of Cuba and born to a single mother. Her parents divorced when she was only five months olds, so there have been a lot of vital life moments that have shaped her personality and ideologies, especially in terms of motherhood. Alejandra is a proud university graduate. She began her career in education right out of high school. Following in her family's footsteps of hard work, she worked full time throughout her educational years and became a K-6 Certified Teacher. During this journey, she met and fell in love with her husband and they started a family of their own. Her husband has a very similar background and holds the same values as she does. They currently live in a single-family home with their three-year-old daughter and two dogs. Both Alejandra and her husband are involved in education and although they have always been hard-working and dedicated individuals, they truly believe that parenthood has pushed their limits and inspired them to become better people, professionals, as a couple and parents. Committed to this Continuously Content Chaos, Alejandra Gonzalez,

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here