Motherhood in itself can be daunting. With added pressure that moms place on themselves, more complex factors come into play.
Moms wear different hats from nurturer, to nurse, to a teacher, to cheerleader, to number one fan, to cook, to comforter… just to name a few. It is no wonder that feeling tired and exhausted can be expected once the journey into motherhood begins. The experience of raising a family is different for every individual. However, there are commonalities and trends that can fast-track any mom’s experience into burnout. Burnout is a phenomenon! It IS real. It happens every day. Anyone can go through burnout. Moms are no exemption. As they juggle many aspects of parenting, working, maintaining a home and taking care of themselves they can just as easily feel defeated. While there is no one cause that leads to burnout, there are certain habits that are more harmful than beneficial for any mom.
Here are the seven signs to take note of and avoid at all cost!
1. Comparing yourself to other moms: Comparison is one of those great distractions. It can take your focus away from what you can be doing to celebrate who you are as a person.
2. Comparing your children to other children: When you start to covet what others have, you lose sight of what’s important. Worse, your children miss out on your unconditional love.
3. Being fearful of the future: Overthinking and overplanning can be detrimental if you start to place yourself in moments ahead of you. Uncertainties can bring about worry, which is a normal part of life. However, extreme fear can be paralyzing.
4. Dwelling in the past: Remembering your past and any pain that came with it can only bring more suffering into your own life.
5. Focusing on what is lacking: Using your energy to count how many goals you haven’t achieved or how many dreams haven’t come true is a sure way to de-motivate you.
6. Ignoring the symptoms of stress: Putting your health and well-being on hold will only heighten your emotions. It can also cloud your judgment.
7. Avoiding asking for help: Needing to be strong for everyone else can make you feel alone and isolated.
What to do Instead?
This quote from two moms and authors of several books, including “Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms”, is such a great reminder: “The idea of mom as a two-dimensional figure is not something inflicted upon us by our husbands or our kids. We do it to ourselves. In fact, the only people who seem to realize that Mom is a person-fragile, important person- are these folks who make the safety videos for airline companies.”
Understand that your role as a mom is a significant one! Gain inspiration from other families rather than seeing them with eyes of envy. Take the time to reflect on what kind of life you want to create. From there, cherish the lessons you’ve learned from your past. Let those lessons motivate you to look into the future with love in your heart.